TIP #1 FOR BECOMING A GUILT FREE PARENT:

If it is not life threatening or morally wrong - then proceed

This was told to me by a public health nurse once and I have never forgotten it. My wife and I were worried that our daughter had been sleeping in the car seat carrier for many hours and seemed comfortable, yet she was not in her crib where she was supposed to be. This was of course according to the schedule I had laid out from one too many parenting books. The nurses’ point was that you need to do what you have to, to survive. From that point forward, I became less concerned about what I did unless it was somehow really wrong and going to jail might be considered a consequence. I am not built for jail so I know I have to stay on the good path. 

A colleague of mine at work told me stories about he would bring his child home from the car in the carrier, then put the carrier in the crib, and then go do whatever it was they needed to do. Then when the baby cried, he would put the handle up on the carrier, and then swing the baby back and forth until she fell asleep and then put the carrier back in the crib. The kid is fine now – no major back surgery. The muscles on the one arm of my co-worker though is fairly massive and he looks like both versions of Popeye. And least his process led to some physical exercise– something that does go missing when kids arrive!

Another parent was talking to me about sleep issues and about what to try or not to try. She quietly asked me if I have considered “other things” to help her sleep. Well I was very interested in this now. I felt like I was getting into some black market products. She then looked around to see if anyone was listening and said “I gave my kids so much Tylenol it was like a fifth food group.”   I will never forget this. The level of embarrassment by her and epiphany by me. I immediately went to the pharmacy and thought that a little bit of coaxing with medication isn’t that bad. Turns out though our daughter was one of those kids that the medication worked the opposite way. She would start screaming an hour later and her pupils would go all big and black and you couldn’t touch her. She might have been having a “bad trip”(Could be a good news for those teenage years when she wants to experiment). So we then moved on to Advil. So far so good.