TIP #1 FOR BECOMING A GUILT FREE PARENT:
If it is not life threatening or morally wrong - then proceed
This was told to me by a public health
nurse once and I have never forgotten it. My wife and I were worried that our
daughter had been sleeping in the car seat carrier for many hours and seemed
comfortable, yet she was not in her crib where she was supposed to be. This was
of course according to the schedule I had laid out from one too many parenting
books. The nurses’ point was that you need to do what you have to, to survive.
From that point forward, I became less concerned about what I did unless it was
somehow really wrong and going to jail might be considered a consequence. I am not built for jail so I know I have to stay on the good path.
A colleague of mine at work told me stories about he
would bring his child home from the car in the carrier, then put the carrier in
the crib, and then go do whatever it was they needed to do. Then when the baby
cried, he would put the handle up on the carrier, and then swing the baby back
and forth until she fell asleep and then put the carrier back in the crib. The
kid is fine now – no major back surgery. The muscles on the one arm of my
co-worker though is fairly massive and he looks like both versions of Popeye.
And least his process led to some physical exercise– something that does go
missing when kids arrive!
Another parent was talking to me about
sleep issues and about what to try or not to try. She quietly asked me if I
have considered “other things” to help her sleep. Well I was very interested in
this now. I felt like I was getting into some black market products. She then
looked around to see if anyone was listening and said “I gave my kids so much
Tylenol it was like a fifth food group.”
I will never forget this. The level of embarrassment by her and epiphany
by me. I immediately went to the pharmacy and thought that a little bit of
coaxing with medication isn’t that bad. Turns out though our daughter was one
of those kids that the medication worked the opposite way. She would start screaming an
hour later and her pupils would go all big and black and you couldn’t touch
her. She might have been having a “bad trip”(Could be a good news
for those teenage years when she wants to experiment). So we then moved on to
Advil. So far so good.
I was once on a Vancouver-Montreal flight with some work peeps, one of whom had her newborn-ish baby with her. Once or twice, I saw her walking him up and down the aisle, bouncing him, and he was perfect throughout the entire flight. Later at he hotel, I commented on what a great flier he was.
ReplyDeleteShe got a scared look on her face, looked around to see if anyone else was within earshot, and then whispered her confession to me: "I slipped him half a baby Gravol!" (or Tylenol, or something of the like).
That's when I realized that I would absolutely be the parent that would drug their children when necessary, and I'd have zero qualms doing it.
Too funny. It's good to know you already have an idea of what you are going to do. Before we have kids, we have so many ideas on what we aren't going to do, and then we realize you have to cope. We have all been there. I carry tylenol around with me like the guys in dark alleyways with fake watches for sale inside their trenchcoat.
DeleteSLEEP...? Considering my children are now soon to be 10 and 6, and their sleeping habits are now worse then ever....drugs by this time would've surely killed them. Bad dreams, monsters, the dark, dehydration and starvation are too name a few of the culprits. Mind you, it must be hard to go to bed with only 1 sandwich, an apple, half a glass of water in your tummy, a dream catcher, a bible under the pillow, six nights lights and two parents less then 20 feet away.
ReplyDeleteI hope for light at the end of the tunnel, and the guilt of screaming "For God's sake go to sleep!! I'm not coming out there again!" (in a less then patient tone) keeps me awake even after they have drifted peacefully back to sleep.
Sleep my friends is a luxury to be forgotten. I realize by the time they stop singing out "Mom" at 4am - is when I will be up half the night worrying where they are, peeking out the window and checking my phone for texts.
This made me laugh. I think my most often phrase uttered is "I am not coming back in" as well. And lying around when the silence comes is awful...you just think they have somehow choked on their own tears and my last words were I am not coming back. Love the list of all the props that somehow should allow them to be asleep...awesome! And we keep giving them more just to cope.
Delete